12 Single Mom Quotes When You feel Like Flipping a Table

In Humor, Quote, Single Mom by JenLeave a Comment

I don’t know who wrote these quotes. What I do know is they kick ass!

  1. Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
  2. Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s just not worth the jail time.
  3. Not my circus, not my monkeys
  4. If someone points at your black clothes and asks who’s funeral it is, you just look around the room and answer “Haven’t decided yet.”
  5. Hello Jesus…I’m ready to come home People on Earth be trippin’.
  6. I want a closet casket funeral. However, towards the end of the service, please have the organist play “pop goes the weasel” over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with silent horrified anticipation.
  7. Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.
  8. I don’t think there will be enough middle fingers for this Monday.
  9. It’s been like one of those days for like 3 years now.
  10. I hope the bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk.
  11. Underestimate me. That will be fun.
  12. I like storms. They let me know that even the sky screams sometimes.
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