“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” – Woody Allen
Yep, that about sums it up. In the last 24 hours, I found out my car needs a repair that will cost me over a $1,000.00, had to pick up mail delivered to my old house that now belongs to ex-husband #2 and my
anti-depressants will now cost me $70.00 more a month with my new health insurance. Sweet.
My Friday was goin’ great…it was Friday after all. I decided to stop on my way home and get an oil change and tire rotation. After a few minutes, my super cool mechanic girl, Sheila, says I have a steering fluid leak. WTF! She does the diagnostics and my Friday quickly takes a really bad turn. Major repair…which requires money…that.I.don’t. have. JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR! I cried all the way home.
Saturday morning, my daughter comes downstairs and tells me she got a message from one of #2’s daughters that some mail addressed to me came to my old house. C’MON! I avoid my old neighborhood at all costs. It’s been five years since the divorce and it is still too painful. That was my damn dream home! It was our happily ever after. Yeah, well I don’t think happily ever after is ever going to be part of my life.
I text #2 and tell him to please (yep, I said please) put the mail in the mailbox and I would drive over to pick it up. I also said thank you. I know, I am surprised myself. Thankfully, we live in a large enough city that running into one another has only happened once and our daughters attended different schools. Our blended family never did.
The closer I get to the house, the harder it is to breathe. All the memories come flooding back. I pull up to the mailbox, grab the mail and go. I can’t even look at the house. I wonder if they were watching, laughing that I am driving the ten year old car, while Daddy has his shiny new one in the garage. That my daughter and I struggle every day, while their lives changed for the better having the entire house to themselves now and money is never a worry.
I pull into the pharmacy drive-thru. The clerk tells me it will be $103.00. What the hell? That can’t be right! I hand him my new insurance card and he double checks. Yep, $103.00. JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR! So, I take my happy pills and do what you do when you can’t deal…I bought doughnuts…lots of doughnuts! I have eaten three of those muthas already.
I totally get this is not the best way to handle stress, but today I really don’t care. I’ll try harder tomorrow.